Rev. Dr. Elparquito's Blog - One Margarita Away From True Bliss

Starting on April 15, 2008, I started to keep track of all the "promised monetary" emails I was receiving.  Everything from army buddies in Iraq trying to send me money, to all my royalty family from Nigeria trying to send me money, to winning the lottery, to the US Senate just giving me ATM cards, and so on.

I fired up Excel, crafted a nifty little spreadsheet, and now keep daily records of "my wealth" as given to me via email.  I plan on doing this for an entire year.  I should easily be worth well over 1 billion USD in a year.  Easily.

Here are some fun stats from just the brief two months I started this project:

•36 million as a beneficiary from a passenger on the doomed Alaska Flight 261.

•3 million from victims of 9/11.

•55 million as ATM cards - usually from the US Senate as a form of "relief" from the plethora of floods and hurricanes that seem happen in Seattle.

•The Bank of Africa is sending me 11 million, although I DO have to pay out $225 to get that money.  Think I'll hold off on this on for a while.

•28 million as a named beneficiary from folks with similar last names.  Right, Mr. Jones?

•I've won the UK lottery 5 times now.  5 times.  Wow.  I am super lucky!  There's a quick 9 million.

•To my good Army buddy, Sgt. Mark Momo in Iraq?  He's sending me 35 million!  Ooooo  Raaaa!!!!  Take that Saddam!

•Good old Nigeria - how can I forget you?  I can't.  10+ million.  Come on boys, that's a little shy, don't ya think???

•Heck, even Microsoft has promised me at least 2.5 million - just for having a cool email address!  God, I love Bill.  What a great guy!

•That Muslim fund out of Africa?  Yeah, they are giving me 55 million to help "Praise Allah", and to help pass the Muslim word around a bit.  Personally, I think it's because I visited Uzbekistan and have a Quoran holder in my house.  I'm damn near a terrorist at this point.  Or at least a Commie Nazi.

•Over a 100 million named as beneficiaries to various estates, wills, Kings, Queens, Prices, Princesses, Bishops, and so forth.  My family KICKS ASS!!!!

Anyways, I'm only 2 months in to it.  Can't wait to see where this goes in a year.

Check back next year to see the final results.  I'll probably be the ONLY billionaire you know.